tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79783512024-03-05T05:48:54.396-05:00The Inflamed Spleen<b>A joke blog to tickle your spleen </b>(or spleens, since "approximately 10% of people have one or more accessory spleens. They may form near the hilum of the main spleen, the junction at which the splenic vessels enter and leave the organ." --Wikipedia)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger227125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-84079906673607068032018-10-18T11:56:00.001-04:002018-10-18T11:56:52.323-04:00Confirm email<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JwUr3j1hucx6eyeY2aBSrsZNxrju-GM0uVa1wwBrc8bKsk3jN_GbmBkA1W9wVLAWqj56xQ2TLI4GCs41CDpBekwwMK3waXQZNEdswxCj97qertwEQSsDw90ANRRObDV_BwB9qw/s1600/IMG_9497-712384.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JwUr3j1hucx6eyeY2aBSrsZNxrju-GM0uVa1wwBrc8bKsk3jN_GbmBkA1W9wVLAWqj56xQ2TLI4GCs41CDpBekwwMK3waXQZNEdswxCj97qertwEQSsDw90ANRRObDV_BwB9qw/s320/IMG_9497-712384.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6613726564934592018" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-23616853553430722502017-12-30T22:14:00.001-05:002017-12-30T22:14:28.768-05:003 midterms tomorrow and I spent the night changing the way my refrigerator door swings <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM6eIJU3FzvGP4zizHj-yFunOy35QeF-kWA6szkNZiuXczeM6mefyQYuI-ROpnXA55chB6u_dXpT0Sm0QpaouC3ye9danULtLOFFQzXgsH5mUYV7jG5ayghhgnxrfO4kdWiix_eQ/s1600/IMG_4567-768795.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM6eIJU3FzvGP4zizHj-yFunOy35QeF-kWA6szkNZiuXczeM6mefyQYuI-ROpnXA55chB6u_dXpT0Sm0QpaouC3ye9danULtLOFFQzXgsH5mUYV7jG5ayghhgnxrfO4kdWiix_eQ/s320/IMG_4567-768795.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505544310903291970" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-70972535123945600472017-12-30T21:16:00.001-05:002017-12-30T21:16:18.198-05:00What happens every night...<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyo84na_YBfPl5Y6yWhhmpSJD8z_dPB1JDWM40vXmV8XRuyd-P5tdfiq919Rq2X1nmoBr-E_gPKvncKgLgbjyJe4fz0fEEQaYa7LMvo7k3QG30gAb07lwiIZ2Y25PFzGMCPJwsmg/s1600/IMG_5535-778205.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyo84na_YBfPl5Y6yWhhmpSJD8z_dPB1JDWM40vXmV8XRuyd-P5tdfiq919Rq2X1nmoBr-E_gPKvncKgLgbjyJe4fz0fEEQaYa7LMvo7k3QG30gAb07lwiIZ2Y25PFzGMCPJwsmg/s320/IMG_5535-778205.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505529318841793970" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-57480854095656123522017-12-30T21:15:00.001-05:002017-12-30T21:15:40.102-05:00Kid art, continued<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3-wJ3aybMNYqBWN2NUPikSIIyivSsjLNLLXJyE021EUzV-Mhgx3cDlfUSzaEUfiUZrhZ01FxRCMsVSV5-c742xSn8Mke93iH4jEC24IKnUsy77_-A_r-ByvuQTOP4y0ZUnhhtJA/s1600/IMG_5493-740108.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3-wJ3aybMNYqBWN2NUPikSIIyivSsjLNLLXJyE021EUzV-Mhgx3cDlfUSzaEUfiUZrhZ01FxRCMsVSV5-c742xSn8Mke93iH4jEC24IKnUsy77_-A_r-ByvuQTOP4y0ZUnhhtJA/s320/IMG_5493-740108.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505529153168765810" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-81647578949148743992017-12-30T21:12:00.001-05:002017-12-30T21:12:22.813-05:00Kid art about family <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCvDPrRjssRNdmMKzou436U1C1yHmyigKNGr7iy9mbM6-rFWODQaOVSTEM8qQIdeOPAdXdhod8Wf-dvWMzO8nYPwu-kS88uwBJmTfrOGSBiYSj71nGqgtvc_B_u7E2ANLpY3XTdQ/s1600/IMG_5490-742819.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCvDPrRjssRNdmMKzou436U1C1yHmyigKNGr7iy9mbM6-rFWODQaOVSTEM8qQIdeOPAdXdhod8Wf-dvWMzO8nYPwu-kS88uwBJmTfrOGSBiYSj71nGqgtvc_B_u7E2ANLpY3XTdQ/s320/IMG_5490-742819.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505528306466152402" /></a></p><p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWuY6h5uxRUP2Vyt1VQDW2PJ6HIdXY6N8KKpKb22jBKDsrtl0HHnoWdNAfARTUemqY2h1SnVPENFEadYD6JLpcwLl5uSHKdJCVA2X54AG4xH8-45UIWqp3PSzruVWObFfF8HePwg/s1600/IMG_5491-743296.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWuY6h5uxRUP2Vyt1VQDW2PJ6HIdXY6N8KKpKb22jBKDsrtl0HHnoWdNAfARTUemqY2h1SnVPENFEadYD6JLpcwLl5uSHKdJCVA2X54AG4xH8-45UIWqp3PSzruVWObFfF8HePwg/s320/IMG_5491-743296.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505528308880540642" /></a></p><p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HQiJU6X4K8Y/WkhHiMc8B_I/AAAAAAAAMuc/HDfoP8AY7jAAk6W_tVXWJR2nOlVwGebVgCK4BGAYYCw/s1600/IMG_5492-743983.jpg"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HQiJU6X4K8Y/WkhHiMc8B_I/AAAAAAAAMuc/HDfoP8AY7jAAk6W_tVXWJR2nOlVwGebVgCK4BGAYYCw/s320/IMG_5492-743983.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505528314520406002" /></a></p><p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T4b8URPHp1o/WkhHiYOn6jI/AAAAAAAAMuk/ICteobLpsi8I7dvkfxZJaoUbE_jrvX-JQCK4BGAYYCw/s1600/IMG_5494-744786.jpg"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T4b8URPHp1o/WkhHiYOn6jI/AAAAAAAAMuk/ICteobLpsi8I7dvkfxZJaoUbE_jrvX-JQCK4BGAYYCw/s320/IMG_5494-744786.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505528317681592882" /></a></p><p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hEZ71ueOoqo/WkhHimofoBI/AAAAAAAAMus/rWV7NFaeKmUFp-k8IX2SsYzEohRWkjsmQCK4BGAYYCw/s1600/IMG_5495-746017.jpg"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hEZ71ueOoqo/WkhHimofoBI/AAAAAAAAMus/rWV7NFaeKmUFp-k8IX2SsYzEohRWkjsmQCK4BGAYYCw/s320/IMG_5495-746017.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505528321548197906" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-84429156001991589052017-12-30T21:09:00.001-05:002017-12-30T21:09:29.185-05:00Just bought a head of lettuce. Should I throw it away now or wait two weeks like I usually do?<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DTlFl6dp1qg/WkhG2V9RAbI/AAAAAAAAMuA/Ign7J8gf2gcp0Wkhc3225tF39e4EJyVzwCK4BGAYYCw/s1600/IMG_5113-769208.jpg"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DTlFl6dp1qg/WkhG2V9RAbI/AAAAAAAAMuA/Ign7J8gf2gcp0Wkhc3225tF39e4EJyVzwCK4BGAYYCw/s320/IMG_5113-769208.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505527561157673394" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-8029846496509078522017-12-30T21:06:00.001-05:002017-12-30T21:06:15.421-05:00Your plans vs the universe’s plans for you<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8STDXCGdACVoXJqQwMCeP_8TPhyphenhyphenJZpZOPy8O9IGcmVW83TsRYxZ1EFkd7NUQtDFg2FaWLFZoycyr_gmOayuxNjO73jWTdweWCktti4OucVKO8JPXc9yMMRkC3y0pZyxQZvvmVoA/s1600/IMG_4664-775448.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8STDXCGdACVoXJqQwMCeP_8TPhyphenhyphenJZpZOPy8O9IGcmVW83TsRYxZ1EFkd7NUQtDFg2FaWLFZoycyr_gmOayuxNjO73jWTdweWCktti4OucVKO8JPXc9yMMRkC3y0pZyxQZvvmVoA/s320/IMG_4664-775448.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505526727557248962" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-79348366274510995352017-12-30T19:59:00.001-05:002017-12-30T19:59:38.133-05:00Why men shouldn’t write advice columns<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHtEBxLOeE3mLvbGLIw8eWU6zVAUoR-yf25MLgvZrjbTqSP7TRiAVz8TVY2T5V09ATzmmn10qm8F0bij2eBJ-qgMm2upPKL23rIYUlfDlpP0h2Kp7A43_I-yJOAnXV-uKgkCn8bg/s1600/IMG_5011-778168.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHtEBxLOeE3mLvbGLIw8eWU6zVAUoR-yf25MLgvZrjbTqSP7TRiAVz8TVY2T5V09ATzmmn10qm8F0bij2eBJ-qgMm2upPKL23rIYUlfDlpP0h2Kp7A43_I-yJOAnXV-uKgkCn8bg/s320/IMG_5011-778168.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6505509570355967282" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-30680645424165135942017-05-28T13:33:00.001-04:002017-05-28T13:33:34.717-04:00How to read your losing powerball ticket <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFJTXWSlh1vAkSUdt9IQKS63pws_Ry1TnRs0IPPrV5SXNU2ssPfgroHq3Gy4LqJkHPwFlBrCHVBmL9Rh9i7JSiwWxyt0RjsbvBeDtj4fVDiFkgWgLdDqm2KeX9nT_ZZrQGHjOgQ/s1600/IMG_4764-714718.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSFJTXWSlh1vAkSUdt9IQKS63pws_Ry1TnRs0IPPrV5SXNU2ssPfgroHq3Gy4LqJkHPwFlBrCHVBmL9Rh9i7JSiwWxyt0RjsbvBeDtj4fVDiFkgWgLdDqm2KeX9nT_ZZrQGHjOgQ/s320/IMG_4764-714718.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6425240215571955522" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-83433739453828341152017-05-03T21:42:00.001-04:002017-05-03T21:42:38.911-04:00Why am I on Wikipedia reading about advanced nuclear theory? (Insomnia vs. Internet!)<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIz46kuCcQcEbdqOp9q3BcCBLybXRxfcdvJMHbH1Ugn_gndcVhxQEFyT-JmRgaQj24Itp6JlDTBcN4SRzf2DBitrXqCWfgGgglbyLoq6u6Pz0kg6pojR7soX1ASBfj9I0fCHmAuA/s1600/IMG_8060-758913.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIz46kuCcQcEbdqOp9q3BcCBLybXRxfcdvJMHbH1Ugn_gndcVhxQEFyT-JmRgaQj24Itp6JlDTBcN4SRzf2DBitrXqCWfgGgglbyLoq6u6Pz0kg6pojR7soX1ASBfj9I0fCHmAuA/s320/IMG_8060-758913.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6416089120952327954" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-38518567508013135182017-01-16T13:40:00.001-05:002017-01-16T13:40:35.944-05:00Insomnia Jeopardy<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9i2eEk8hTWCYNeeYK8a1Bbejkxmm2GlLdGnUC9tM_s6yQVm15RpcuTXV4mDRGjYgrCGIGxGFOP2VeJbwD4I-POblxeT8aalyVcMhO_yWTISCydl4DU9FOGQtbWtt-w2AlZtWA-A/s1600/IMG_5248-735945.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9i2eEk8hTWCYNeeYK8a1Bbejkxmm2GlLdGnUC9tM_s6yQVm15RpcuTXV4mDRGjYgrCGIGxGFOP2VeJbwD4I-POblxeT8aalyVcMhO_yWTISCydl4DU9FOGQtbWtt-w2AlZtWA-A/s320/IMG_5248-735945.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6376274245466799618" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-66650794764864823092017-01-16T13:12:00.001-05:002017-01-16T13:12:25.206-05:00When Miley Cyrus does this it's okay...<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHWT0h0aRKyklGpjTlymlrXYUvIJNDWS0O5jf3zUzfuj26Zz8z2JJNcvvH-Av4-SAwUamAs6z6dfTWm6wftwnjhMp8O3pPSjnBtoRZXxS4swvYbEsc39m2_7eMAXy2Nph0VHVwQ/s1600/IMG_5854-745207.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHWT0h0aRKyklGpjTlymlrXYUvIJNDWS0O5jf3zUzfuj26Zz8z2JJNcvvH-Av4-SAwUamAs6z6dfTWm6wftwnjhMp8O3pPSjnBtoRZXxS4swvYbEsc39m2_7eMAXy2Nph0VHVwQ/s320/IMG_5854-745207.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6376266988068639794" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-21207134543242172762016-06-01T23:55:00.001-04:002016-06-01T23:55:23.800-04:00Non religious cartoons<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UQLJ831q4-E/V0-uLNUp3eI/AAAAAAAALkI/47ar-_LZrI4Pa4NLNEG4YHQMxsJSJHVUQCK4B/s1600/IMG_4219-723801.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UQLJ831q4-E/V0-uLNUp3eI/AAAAAAAALkI/47ar-_LZrI4Pa4NLNEG4YHQMxsJSJHVUQCK4B/s320/IMG_4219-723801.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6291438712037957090" /></a></p><p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhirvyLOmZbD7584ZLqAOCx7V8fTPVkihXUWPJU3KEjLjNiGsOHYUEvMgvNvWTZNhhgf31eekKiUbKdyfbgapgt_RzMFLa1Ih103fRPP1BI8jJjKvrVji-NZC2_6Er5lKztQG0cFA/s1600/IMG_4220-725208.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhirvyLOmZbD7584ZLqAOCx7V8fTPVkihXUWPJU3KEjLjNiGsOHYUEvMgvNvWTZNhhgf31eekKiUbKdyfbgapgt_RzMFLa1Ih103fRPP1BI8jJjKvrVji-NZC2_6Er5lKztQG0cFA/s320/IMG_4220-725208.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6291438713842791858" /></a></p><p class="mobile-photo"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-740lH9Gd_cM/V0-uLjNTKXI/AAAAAAAALkY/M2yGJHVhnCUt_7FSJbXu3j7Z1tcfqdL3gCK4B/s1600/IMG_4221-726020.JPG"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-740lH9Gd_cM/V0-uLjNTKXI/AAAAAAAALkY/M2yGJHVhnCUt_7FSJbXu3j7Z1tcfqdL3gCK4B/s320/IMG_4221-726020.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6291438717912689010" /></a></p>Cartoons about atheism:Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-82769025500664052912015-12-27T22:26:00.001-05:002015-12-27T22:26:57.624-05:00Nihilistic password security questions <p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLmgy1g1lDwUDw4XOcJkGQLIJCIPYYogRxLMnKRBi50BjyvrGfZHsXRXOFC_LMv1uqJloRkX-q3Jxx7o-Q13O87zDx96NE5s5WDkY26iwqVLMJKDf8jBp3C_KsFnQvANJPo_34ew/s1600/IMG_2393-717624.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLmgy1g1lDwUDw4XOcJkGQLIJCIPYYogRxLMnKRBi50BjyvrGfZHsXRXOFC_LMv1uqJloRkX-q3Jxx7o-Q13O87zDx96NE5s5WDkY26iwqVLMJKDf8jBp3C_KsFnQvANJPo_34ew/s320/IMG_2393-717624.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6233171011974566402" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-55829918866591575452015-10-12T23:15:00.001-04:002015-10-12T23:15:58.973-04:00TRUTH<p class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFzyudKlOzkfhh4THtgCmuIiPdN4HQNP7d33JM3u-OlRdnlJttywy7X5XIvnD1pS7CyBH8q-QjzTFaPIaSoztf0ouL_muLC7vaVBnRrYsOdOvE2cXzbdBTW2YkrNFsiHvpyq324g/s1600/IMG_8980-758974.JPG"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFzyudKlOzkfhh4THtgCmuIiPdN4HQNP7d33JM3u-OlRdnlJttywy7X5XIvnD1pS7CyBH8q-QjzTFaPIaSoztf0ouL_muLC7vaVBnRrYsOdOvE2cXzbdBTW2YkrNFsiHvpyq324g/s320/IMG_8980-758974.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_6204965707807200210" /></a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-39617578024716306472012-11-19T12:24:00.002-05:002012-11-19T12:24:58.202-05:00Men who lack female supervision<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit4N0XuQsc9DFLtESKix7g1fM73LldOmXRe7U0joPdQgxNSuCTNz8b5R9981UPPcPmXBoFsusUxSVrq5qrPjBJNVtBhRxpDfj00EU4o9iSPe9QXQzdFuyIhSa5DHmq70HrypnZKw/s1600/men-who-lack-female-supervision.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit4N0XuQsc9DFLtESKix7g1fM73LldOmXRe7U0joPdQgxNSuCTNz8b5R9981UPPcPmXBoFsusUxSVrq5qrPjBJNVtBhRxpDfj00EU4o9iSPe9QXQzdFuyIhSa5DHmq70HrypnZKw/s320/men-who-lack-female-supervision.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-47565771396855398162011-06-08T09:41:00.000-04:002011-06-08T09:41:33.673-04:00Be careful what you wish for (in a running partner)<span style="font-size: large;">Original ad on Craigslist:</span><br />
<br />
i want to get back into shape and am looking for a jogging partner. i<br />
always run better if i can keep the pace with someone else as i am<br />
sure other fellow runners know. i only work afternoons so i can run<br />
during the morning or night, doesnt matter much to me. shoot me an<br />
email if you want to be running partners<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Reply:</span><br />
<br />
Dear New Running Partner,<br />
<br />
Hello! My name is Mustafi Chukwuemeka Adetokunbo, but my friends call<br />
me Wuemeka. I have just moved to Philadelphia from Kenya and I too am<br />
looking for a running partner. I run for twelve miles every morning,<br />
and another eight at night. I now run a 4 minute mile. I know this is<br />
slow, but no worry, I am aiming to run a 3:50 mile by next month. I<br />
most look forward to running with you, my new friend! Please respond<br />
with your contact information and where you would like to run. I am<br />
not so acquainted with Philadelphia, but I would prefer to run in<br />
densely forested areas if you know of any.<br />
<br />
Run with you soon,<br />
<br />
WuemekaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-39226034444555207462011-01-16T23:27:00.000-05:002011-01-16T23:27:47.945-05:0011 Step Program for those thinking of having kids<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLmQWid16s3MA7Z-zklMvadaCikmkfzqH8230KZqtmcfga0cLFOud_cRYBENLjWzTO8oubaOUpJemwuYefaDQ9t8NE2hD4442ufVGr8zQXJ90zYtNogrVqEgCwYUPyweImcOaabQ/s1600/stewie.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLmQWid16s3MA7Z-zklMvadaCikmkfzqH8230KZqtmcfga0cLFOud_cRYBENLjWzTO8oubaOUpJemwuYefaDQ9t8NE2hD4442ufVGr8zQXJ90zYtNogrVqEgCwYUPyweImcOaabQ/s1600/stewie.jpg" /></a><b>Lesson 1</b><br />
<br />
1. Go to the grocery store.<br />
<br />
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.<br />
<br />
3. Go home.<br />
<br />
4. Pick up the paper.<br />
<br />
5. Read it for the last time.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 2</b><br />
<br />
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who<br />
already are parents and berate them about their...<br />
<br />
1. Methods of discipline.<br />
<br />
2. Lack of patience.<br />
<br />
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.<br />
<br />
4. Allowing their children to run wild.<br />
<br />
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's<br />
breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and<br />
overall behavior.<br />
<br />
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have<br />
all the answers.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 3</b><br />
<br />
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...<br />
<br />
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living<br />
room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12<br />
pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound)<br />
playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)<br />
<br />
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and<br />
go to sleep.<br />
<br />
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.<br />
<br />
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.<br />
<br />
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and<br />
watch an infomercial.<br />
<br />
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.<br />
<br />
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.<br />
<br />
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.<br />
<br />
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work<br />
hard and be productive)<br />
<br />
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful<br />
and together.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 4</b><br />
<br />
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...<br />
<br />
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.<br />
<br />
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.<br />
<br />
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.<br />
<br />
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.<br />
<br />
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.<br />
<br />
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How<br />
does that look?<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 5</b><br />
<br />
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.<br />
<br />
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.<br />
<br />
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.<br />
<br />
Time allowed for this - all morning.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 6</b><br />
<br />
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave<br />
it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look<br />
like that.<br />
<br />
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.<br />
<br />
Leave it there.<br />
<br />
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.<br />
<br />
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the<br />
back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with<br />
your foot.<br />
<br />
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 7</b><br />
<br />
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can<br />
find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent<br />
choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely<br />
take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the<br />
goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.<br />
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having<br />
children.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 8</b><br />
<br />
1. Hollow out a melon.<br />
<br />
2. Make a small hole in the side.<br />
<br />
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.<br />
<br />
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the<br />
swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.<br />
<br />
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.<br />
<br />
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLmQWid16s3MA7Z-zklMvadaCikmkfzqH8230KZqtmcfga0cLFOud_cRYBENLjWzTO8oubaOUpJemwuYefaDQ9t8NE2hD4442ufVGr8zQXJ90zYtNogrVqEgCwYUPyweImcOaabQ/s1600/stewie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><br />
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Lesson 9</b><br />
<br />
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney,<br />
Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but<br />
PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know,<br />
you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 10</b><br />
<br />
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly.<br />
(Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy';<br />
occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).<br />
Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.<br />
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.<br />
<br />
<b>Lesson 11</b><br />
<br />
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else<br />
continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while<br />
playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready<br />
to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the<br />
room.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-57087112673218958262010-10-04T18:05:00.005-04:002010-10-04T18:15:58.793-04:00Life, as explained in graphs<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_-bYaXed-rQU/TKpPuiRXT6I/AAAAAAAAFKY/4VRoNiMe_Yg/s1600/intended-career-path.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_-bYaXed-rQU/TKpPuiRXT6I/AAAAAAAAFKY/4VRoNiMe_Yg/s400/intended-career-path.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524315553815547810" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVe90lJJlNvpm-cEfdNaSI2U1pS8WneBr05qxI8jJmLDiT23ZLKjSgaq-x0-c6nD7HTkdAr3mZv2U60PBvRj7Hvonozc16eRst_D8JfBRNbzUvkl0J7Cz8k9RIsLNPHpVWeCAueA/s1600/likelihood-of-a-computer-issue-being-solved-by.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 388px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVe90lJJlNvpm-cEfdNaSI2U1pS8WneBr05qxI8jJmLDiT23ZLKjSgaq-x0-c6nD7HTkdAr3mZv2U60PBvRj7Hvonozc16eRst_D8JfBRNbzUvkl0J7Cz8k9RIsLNPHpVWeCAueA/s400/likelihood-of-a-computer-issue-being-solved-by.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524315562532850242" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKcmRnfQA0uurCHfq0bywFnSfcQh1L_XkcTThTY-NLPIvHmDBCTtGNU93vdo7YCtPsPFPu6Sh_DqR0W1ijtTwdf_LzWZRKn3DPC262CemXkv8UottG5pecJHWbqBHiuY9oTu2SeQ/s1600/laser-pen-usage.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKcmRnfQA0uurCHfq0bywFnSfcQh1L_XkcTThTY-NLPIvHmDBCTtGNU93vdo7YCtPsPFPu6Sh_DqR0W1ijtTwdf_LzWZRKn3DPC262CemXkv8UottG5pecJHWbqBHiuY9oTu2SeQ/s400/laser-pen-usage.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524315554720373586" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsM4J5KHIws8bYCsZWbnX2FmPOJOOTl6EN3gwv_geuv-S29aP9ZfmTO9nYeR2o-TiqoTnQqIMwXRyiD0MkBgOSb8HT-4Fmv8aTwgKjehhTbj5u4FXy38VU4bXIVtBbtlNVTBYTg/s1600/why-do-men-attend-weddings.jpeg"><br /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVH7t3yxKUdz0gjap0gsSD9nFU8q7P9aKuNwfhuukjonkhyphenhypheniX5ZQlSthyipssKKA1nuy5mbMz5KeZcEo3nbUJyvEXYm4hDIzaO0YWVujR4v7ze10EN1oJoJUc5vqfxc2MAsrsvwA/s1600/when-falling-asleep-feels-easiest.gif"><img style="display: block; 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margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 368px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-bYaXed-rQU/TKpQiOG6YbI/AAAAAAAAFLo/vjMgkwnJfPk/s400/things-that-reportedly-taste-like-chicken.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524316441756197298" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAkAefdHcFgzIiF1jri4iOhO2YdkNO3WLgiwycFmyglWC7Sq1lQCYxCcvb-cV8ijat_WcPCFs3OJAf5mgKktrDJClBcq3-u34SZdmuecDfOIrbpl5E0h9PehjwhdMfztkomQPLsg/s1600/things-i-learned-from-watching-csi.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 255px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAkAefdHcFgzIiF1jri4iOhO2YdkNO3WLgiwycFmyglWC7Sq1lQCYxCcvb-cV8ijat_WcPCFs3OJAf5mgKktrDJClBcq3-u34SZdmuecDfOIrbpl5E0h9PehjwhdMfztkomQPLsg/s400/things-i-learned-from-watching-csi.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524316437117376754" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFZ9isRNax3_IqhTFsiNHz0_mTm4TPPItoWzsspECWMBZ0sMqDs5dcxZpH27aAd9BnRGGWRPUbSmNRdqmQOeSQrNy5u4diy4ZyAdjNZop4jS14eux3am9E95NS0REtSwYJGxVukA/s1600/side-of-bed.jpeg"><img style="display: block; 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margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 375px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_-bYaXed-rQU/TKpQP49h0HI/AAAAAAAAFLI/TvrAW78C9SE/s400/probability-that-you-have-done-something-wrong.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524316126842048626" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTgH6dbyP9LHZKogE-ryMjnOEA6PE1ppvybESZzG_WIhGIpwS_yXpqk4WSBgE-SEI9H037ZsW0fRei7feDPaMjuSNhse_xTrIYoukQcYM-Gl8ZcorAdzUpeZli7L-f2YXXV6IE-A/s1600/probability-of-an-honest-answer-to-does-this-make-me-look-fat.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 342px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTgH6dbyP9LHZKogE-ryMjnOEA6PE1ppvybESZzG_WIhGIpwS_yXpqk4WSBgE-SEI9H037ZsW0fRei7feDPaMjuSNhse_xTrIYoukQcYM-Gl8ZcorAdzUpeZli7L-f2YXXV6IE-A/s400/probability-of-an-honest-answer-to-does-this-make-me-look-fat.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524316126713904610" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjedjLNBQtN2rzhWP6FdcHyF_LVRwwttyJvmI0CluUpUuEgowpjbOaPIdmmWZHKb9Co2SbAj5Ngii7GZQz5qEalpgDtkLYla1pL02Um91PltSNLjsr4Gs8ElfBy6ELxInkXPFfEKw/s1600/people-who-find-you-on-facebook.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 252px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjedjLNBQtN2rzhWP6FdcHyF_LVRwwttyJvmI0CluUpUuEgowpjbOaPIdmmWZHKb9Co2SbAj5Ngii7GZQz5qEalpgDtkLYla1pL02Um91PltSNLjsr4Gs8ElfBy6ELxInkXPFfEKw/s400/people-who-find-you-on-facebook.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524316116591135218" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmUoIhhLo2BXmXN5uiKlVcG2rujd2j790rWDVE_20lk8pVNpgIcMYU400Z46q0SkWVUHPha3Ot5gx7PXVVEU8NLCjL6bC_kn1kzlVaQNNnEZ1j6CkNL5gdD5g9GB5IL8JPbDcyQ/s1600/lyrics-of-ymcs-that-people-know.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 221px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmUoIhhLo2BXmXN5uiKlVcG2rujd2j790rWDVE_20lk8pVNpgIcMYU400Z46q0SkWVUHPha3Ot5gx7PXVVEU8NLCjL6bC_kn1kzlVaQNNnEZ1j6CkNL5gdD5g9GB5IL8JPbDcyQ/s400/lyrics-of-ymcs-that-people-know.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524315571798004370" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVe90lJJlNvpm-cEfdNaSI2U1pS8WneBr05qxI8jJmLDiT23ZLKjSgaq-x0-c6nD7HTkdAr3mZv2U60PBvRj7Hvonozc16eRst_D8JfBRNbzUvkl0J7Cz8k9RIsLNPHpVWeCAueA/s1600/likelihood-of-a-computer-issue-being-solved-by.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 388px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVe90lJJlNvpm-cEfdNaSI2U1pS8WneBr05qxI8jJmLDiT23ZLKjSgaq-x0-c6nD7HTkdAr3mZv2U60PBvRj7Hvonozc16eRst_D8JfBRNbzUvkl0J7Cz8k9RIsLNPHpVWeCAueA/s400/likelihood-of-a-computer-issue-being-solved-by.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524315562532850242" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIMHLk1L3BQsgJl_7M_-YOiSFTLBdqD6XNY5qGFI23DisgHMr2Oj_4Cp38Q9lzQoow2LOpCJlJynixYBU80ncyN9z6ik5752mDnrh4YeiDUAceBMn6AIq5L8x2V084eGmbwhP6TA/s1600/content-of-a-beatles-song.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 217px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIMHLk1L3BQsgJl_7M_-YOiSFTLBdqD6XNY5qGFI23DisgHMr2Oj_4Cp38Q9lzQoow2LOpCJlJynixYBU80ncyN9z6ik5752mDnrh4YeiDUAceBMn6AIq5L8x2V084eGmbwhP6TA/s400/content-of-a-beatles-song.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524315544892646946" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsM4J5KHIws8bYCsZWbnX2FmPOJOOTl6EN3gwv_geuv-S29aP9ZfmTO9nYeR2o-TiqoTnQqIMwXRyiD0MkBgOSb8HT-4Fmv8aTwgKjehhTbj5u4FXy38VU4bXIVtBbtlNVTBYTg/s1600/why-do-men-attend-weddings.jpeg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsM4J5KHIws8bYCsZWbnX2FmPOJOOTl6EN3gwv_geuv-S29aP9ZfmTO9nYeR2o-TiqoTnQqIMwXRyiD0MkBgOSb8HT-4Fmv8aTwgKjehhTbj5u4FXy38VU4bXIVtBbtlNVTBYTg/s400/why-do-men-attend-weddings.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524316649225767810" border="0" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-79988870301653901532010-04-01T18:10:00.003-04:002010-04-01T18:14:34.142-04:00April Fool's joke<blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">One thing kids like </span>is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. </blockquote><div style="text-align: right;"><blockquote>~Jack Handey<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_-bYaXed-rQU/S7Uag9oSGpI/AAAAAAAAEuI/18p2F9anyXk/s1600/aprilfools.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 260px; height: 348px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_-bYaXed-rQU/S7Uag9oSGpI/AAAAAAAAEuI/18p2F9anyXk/s400/aprilfools.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5455295677230881426" border="0" /></a></blockquote></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-7003339653231168862010-02-08T17:17:00.002-05:002010-02-08T17:19:43.145-05:00Should I get a dog or have children?<span style="font-size:130%;">Life really boils down to two questions...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Should I get a dog....?</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGEZJwCMPYXpj-1ZS6GTsrbAZPwPK5goSWPLkV3SzHWGMIYGsznLPQlvi0wL4bbWGcMDs6zmf_x-yMCADPvbV9y-Eqf1FaG_UhQCpsE_nQcP1Z1ezAzhbXzSwl1OEYhVytk-clPg/s1600-h/should-i-get-a-dog.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 259px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGEZJwCMPYXpj-1ZS6GTsrbAZPwPK5goSWPLkV3SzHWGMIYGsznLPQlvi0wL4bbWGcMDs6zmf_x-yMCADPvbV9y-Eqf1FaG_UhQCpsE_nQcP1Z1ezAzhbXzSwl1OEYhVytk-clPg/s400/should-i-get-a-dog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436000434762933282" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Or...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Should I have children?</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirsX3WTkFAMnWGFqyh6pbuhGGkK9UFzzDo7y1UjeHR8owuLc4QtKR8l6rmIXXR846OdwMt-oh8OBcL7YmmUvXK_DuYlKS8PeR0ARB_M6cOD0aFpQcYDt4kaQG5oeMIRRAD1uA9mQ/s1600-h/should-i-have-children.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirsX3WTkFAMnWGFqyh6pbuhGGkK9UFzzDo7y1UjeHR8owuLc4QtKR8l6rmIXXR846OdwMt-oh8OBcL7YmmUvXK_DuYlKS8PeR0ARB_M6cOD0aFpQcYDt4kaQG5oeMIRRAD1uA9mQ/s400/should-i-have-children.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436000439639147554" border="0" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-76988606312619773822010-01-31T22:02:00.001-05:002010-01-31T22:05:12.623-05:00workout diaryDear Diary,<br /> For my birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a week of<br /> personal training at the local health club for me.<br /><br /> Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football<br /> cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead<br /> and give it a try.<br /><br /> I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named<br /> Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and<br /> model for athletic clothing and swim wear.<br /><br /> My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club<br /> encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.<br /><br /> ________________________________<br /> MONDAY:<br /> Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was<br /> well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting<br /> for me.. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes<br /> and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!<br /><br /> Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching<br /> the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my<br /> workout today. Very inspiring!<br /><br /> Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already<br /> aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to<br /> be a FANTASTIC week-!!<br /><br /> ________________________________<br /> TUESDAY:<br /> I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.<br /> Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air<br /> then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the<br /> treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all<br /> worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.<br /><br /> _______________________________<br /> WEDNESDAY:<br /> The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the<br /> counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a<br /> hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to<br /> steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.<br /><br /> Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other<br /> club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the<br /> morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY<br /> annoying.<br /><br /> My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the<br /> stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an<br /> activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help<br /> me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.<br /><br /> _______________________________<br /> THURSDAY:<br /> Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his<br /> thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being<br /> a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.<br /><br /> He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran<br /> and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.<br /><br /> Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.<br /> _________________________________<br /> FRIDAY:<br /> I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any<br /> other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic,<br /> anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I<br /> could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.<br /><br /> Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And<br /> if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or<br /> anything that weighs more than a sandwich.<br /><br /> The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition<br /> teacher.. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach<br /> or the choir director?<br /><br /> ________________________________<br /> SATURDAY:<br /> Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly<br /> voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made<br /> me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the<br /> strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight<br /> hours of the Weather Channel.<br /><br /> ________________________________<br /> SUNDAY:<br /> I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and<br /> thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my<br /> husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a<br /> hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would<br /> have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-29369012247204321762009-10-23T13:58:00.000-04:002009-10-23T13:58:00.334-04:00someone out there rocks at scrabbleThis has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while.<br />Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">DORMITORY:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />DIRTY ROOM<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">PRESBYTERIAN:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />BEST IN PRAYER<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ASTRONOMER:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />MOON STARER<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">DESPERATION: </span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />A ROPE ENDS IT<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE EYES: </span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />THEY SEE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">GEORGE BUSH:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />HE BUGS GORE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE MORSE CODE :</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />HERE COME DOTS<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SLOT MACHINES:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />CASH LOST IN ME<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ANIMOSITY:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />IS NO AMITY<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ELECTION RESULTS:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />LIES - LET'S RECOUNT<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SNOOZE ALARMS:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A DECIMAL POINT:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />IM A DOT IN PLACE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE EARTHQUAKES:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />THAT QUEER SHAKE<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ELEVEN PLUS TWO:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />TWELVE PLUS ONE<br /><br />AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MOTHER-IN-LAW:</span><br />When you rearrange the letters:<br />WOMAN HITLERUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-58226140379442244152009-10-17T13:50:00.000-04:002009-10-17T13:51:00.949-04:00Romance mathROMANCE MATHEMATICS<br /><br />Smart man + smart woman = romance<br />Smart man + dumb woman = affair<br />Dumb man + smart woman = marriage<br />Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978351.post-45682757696998153152009-06-22T19:06:00.001-04:002009-06-22T19:07:51.630-04:00What would you do??A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness.<br /><br />The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act.<br /><br />For $100, the cabby agreed.<br /><br />Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man.<br /><br />The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.<br /><br />The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money.<br /><br />He paid for the Corvette I bought for you<br /><br />He paid for our new cabin cruiser.<br /><br />He paid for your season New York Giant's tickets.<br /><br />He paid for our house at the lake.<br /><br />He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues."<br /><br />Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun.<br /><br />He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?<br /><br />The cabby replied; "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a cold."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com