inflatable leg

If only...

Two people can NOT fit through the toll booth at once.

The laws of physics dictate that a large object cannot fit neatly into a smaller opening without some compromise. But apparently people believe their cars are excluded from these laws. I used to have a bumper sticker on my car that said "tailgaters failed physics" in a (failed) attempt to keep people off my rear while driving. Unfortunately 99% of them didn't get it. I had people ask me (completely innocently) "So, did you fail physics?" NO, idiot. YOU did, if you're so close to my tail that I can't even see your headlights!

When it's ok to say "Oh S$!T!!!"

Blonde answer on a math test

I think I did this before, so it doesn't just apply to blondes!

New Year's Resolutions

This is me (click to enlarge). From Monty's cartoon archives.