Monday, February 27, 2006

redneck grill, lotto winner, and more


Redneck grill



Redneck lotto winner



Redneck boat



Redneck guest quarters



Redneck pet carrier



Redneck PDA



Redneck game of horseshoe



Redneck weather station

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

hilarious video of a woman cooking crabs

You have to see this hilarious movie. This is what I'd be like if I were to make crabs! The best part is the dog in the background. You may have to save the link and download the movie because it may not play well in your browser. To do that, right click on the link and select "save link as." and then store somewhere on your computer.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the &#%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?

Monday, February 13, 2006

Monday, February 6, 2006

funny signs


Don't drink and make signs!


Is it buy 2 babies and get 3 children free, or buy 2 children and get 3 babies free?


McConfusion


Talk about a shotgun wedding.


How can one write if illiterate?


It might be just as confusing to ask!

Thursday, February 2, 2006

latest recipients of the best woman driver awards


OOF!


I'm trying to imagine the logistics of actually FIXING this situation...


What you see here is the detached end of a gas hose...


She's wearing the helmet backwards!


DOH! This one makes me feel better about once hitting a gas pump. I was a brand new driver (yes I am a woman) and had just gotten a "new" car. My first car was a beatup chevy vega that barely sat 2 comfortably. My dad purchased it for like $50 six years earlier for my sister. It barely ran and had so many leaks it almost caught on fire once from a leaking gas line (luckily we caught it when inspecting the engine sparks). I had to dump a quart of oil a week in it and the gas mileage was horrible - 9 miles to the gallon. It broke down almost as much as it ran and all my friends would see me at school or work and say things like "oh we saw you last night walking down [misc. desolate highway]." How I wish I'd had the luxury of a cell phone then! After a year, I upgraded to the pimp-like Mercury Monarch and could barely manage sailing it down the road. The first time I had to fill up, I banged into the pump! Luckily I only damaged the car (and my ego) but nothing else. This picture made me feel better about that embarrassing incident!


Well, maybe s/he was on a call which required a controlled drive through wet concrete, who knows!