So this morning I'm listening to Howard Stern when someone calls in and says "Michael Jackson is extremely misunderstood. Sleeping with children is not a big deal, I do it all the time."
Howard begins probing. "So who are these children you're sleeping with?" "My nieces and nephews and sometimes their friends." "Do you ever touch them inappropriately?" "NO of course not!"
More probing.
Howard: "So why do you sleep with children?"
Guy: "Because I love their innocence and want to hold it close to me. I'm a 6th-grade teacher and I love kids."
Howard: "Do you ever touch them in bed?"
Guy: "No, only tickle, cuddle, spoon, and hug."
Everyone in the studio starts to groan.
Howard: "Are you married?" "
Guy: Yes."
Howard: "Does your wife know you sleep with these children?"
Guy: "No."
Howard: "Have the kids ever said anything to their parents?"
Guy: "YES, one of them told their parents and now their parents won't let them come over anymore and then they told some of the neighbors and it makes me look really bad. Now I'm going to have to tell my wife and I don't think she'll understand."
Then Howard asks "Have you ever been turned on while cuddling with them?" There's a loooong silence and the guy sounds shaken but admits "Well no one ever goes NEAR the area so no one knows." "Well do you ever fantasize about them?" Another long silence and the guy finally admits that he does but says he would never act on it.
Howard: "Dude, you're a pedophile!"
Robin: "Why are you trying to absolve someone else of something that you're guilty of yourself?"
Couldn't believe it! There's no transcript of this online but I can't believe how much this guy buried himself.
