Installing a Cheap Home Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of the Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.
3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines(Include a deer thigh-bone).
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Slammer, Slim, and I went for more hollow-point ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it. Thank God! It was hard to tell, though, from all the blood. Took Bobbi-Jo hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em dogs up in the house. Better wait outside. They're kinda spooked.
So here's the note Dan found today (of all days! I am not making this up!)
10/7 update:
Ok, so I learned the "notis" was actually written by someone, but not the guy who posted it up in Maryland. It's actually written by B. Criscom about a century ago, according to a paper in Google's cache from the NY State Bar Association's website which says:
At the head office of the Union Pacific Railroad in Omaha there is an old photograph of a sign that was nailed up along the right-of-way of the railroad somewhere in the Midwest about a century ago. It reads:
“Notis! Trespassers will be persecuted to the full extent of two mungrel dogs which never was over sochible to strangers and 1 dubble brl shot gun which aint loded with sofa pillers. Dam if I ant getting tired of this hell raisin on my place.” B.Criscom.
