-- funny quotes on sex

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

-- on mammograms

-- fatal computer error

It can't be that fatal, can it? lol

what's at the end of the rainbow

Finally , someone has managed to photograph the pot at the end of the rainbow!

-- JC Penney catalog from 1977

One of the funniest things I've read on the internet in a long time. Blog post: JC Penney catalog from 1977.

-- Wal-Mart Has Everything

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab .
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

-- Happy pi day! (from Will Wheaton)

Happy pi day, from Will Wheaton.