Monday, December 11, 2006

Hallmark cards that don't exist

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go ...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.


Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?