By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. -Henny Youngman
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't. -Patrick Murray
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. -Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle
