Saul visits Abe and sees a dog in the house.
"So what kind of dog is this?" asks Saul.
"It's a Jewish dog. His name is Irving and he can talk," says Abe.
"Watch this," continues Abe as he points to the dog. "Irving, Fetch!"
Irving walks slowly to the door, then turns around and says, "So why are
you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I'm nothing.
And then you make me sleep on the floor, with my arthritis...You give me
this fahkahkta food with all the salt and fat, and you tell me it's a
special diet...It tastes like dreck! YOU should eat it yourself!...And do
you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it's out of the house, a short
pish, and right back home. Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the
sciatica wouldn't kill me so much!"
Sol, amazed, tells Abe how remarkable this is, to which Abe answers, "I
don't know, I think this dog has a hearing problem.
I said fetch, and he thought I said kvetch."
ps. Fahkahkta means awful or crazy. Someone can tell you a Fahkahkta story, a crazy story that makes no sense.