Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Jewish mother/daughter joke

This made me laugh:
Phone rings.
JEWISH MOTHER (picks up the phone and answers)
Jewish Mother: Hello?
Daughter: Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?
Jewish Mother: You're going out?
Daughter: Yes.
Jewish Mother: With whom?
Daughter: With a friend.
Jewish Mother: I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.
Daughter: I didn't leave him. He left me!
Jewish Mother: You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.
Daughter: I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?
Jewish Mother: I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.
Daughter: There are lots of things that you did and I don't.
Jewish Mother: What are you hinting at?
Daughter: Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.
Jewish Mother: You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?
Daughter: My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!
Jewish Mother: So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?
Daughter: He's not a loser.
Jewish Mother: A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.
Daughter: I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?
Jewish Mother: Poor children with such a mother.
Daughter: Such a what?
Jewish Mother: With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.
Daughter: ENOUGH !!!
Jewish Mother: Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!
Daughter: Now you're worried about the loser?
Jewish Mother: Ah, so you see he's a loser. I spotted him immediately.
Daughter: Goodbye, mother.
Jewish Mother: Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?
Daughter: I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!
Jewish Mother: If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?